Grand Buffet     quick take   When: 9 p.m. Thursday   Where: Solar Culture, 31 E. Toole Ave., Downtown.   How much: $6   Information: 884-0874   Et cetera: All ages; Bandye opens.

Pittsburgh rap-duo Grand Buffet speaks for itself. In lieu of gushing over "Cigarette Beach," a funny, eloquent collection of bizarre, uncompromising hip-hop tracks, here are selections from a conversation with Lord Grunge, one half of the group. (OK, we gushed a little.) Caliente: Hello, Lord?

 

Lord Grunge: Yeah. What do I call you Lord or Mr. Grunge?

 

My real name is Jarrod. You can call me that or Lord Grunge, whatever you're comfy with. Lord Grunge, how did you and Grape-A-Don get your stage handles? It's not so much like I got the name - it's like the name got me. Because I am the undisputed don of alternative hip-hop, that's all there is to it. Grape-A-Don used to be Iguanodon, which is a dinosaur name. We were playing a show at a hockey rink - we played so many ridiculous shows. There were maybe seven people there, and a kid came to the show with a giant bottle of this (bleep) called Grape-A-Don and presented it to then-Iguanodon. Iguanodon thought he would honor this kid by changing his name to Grape-A-Don. Yeah, it was pretty cool. Where am I speaking to you, Pittsburgh? I'm actually in Meadville (Pa.), my girlfriend lives up here. But my essence is in Pittsburgh. How do you write a song.

 

We don't have a set formula, as far as songwriting. We live together and we have a little studio in our home. We usually just write as we record. We'll (bleep) around and jam out ideas and play them for each other and just pass tracks back and forth until they sound cool. Does it irritate you when people call you a joke? It does bother me. What bothers me is (bleepy) journalism, period. I can appreciate a well-crafted assault. I'll tip my hat to that any day. But we are funny; we do (bleep) around and be funny. But that's not all there is to it. You guys toured with (now deceased blues singer) Wesley Willis. How was that? Spending time with Wes was amazing. It was such a (bleeping) battle for him to tour - to do anything with schizophrenia - later with his weight. Even with leukemia he still toured. That's what inspired me the most professionally, the dude's work ethic. All your publicity shots include cigarettes. Do you smoke?

 

I smoke. But not cigarettes, cigars. I'm a big tobacco enthusiast. Tobacco gets me pumped. Grand Buffet quick take When: 9 p.m. Thursday Where: Solar Culture, 31 E. Toole Ave., Downtown. How much: $6 Information: 884-0874 Et cetera: All ages; Bandye opens.