Other articles by Bonnie Henry:

Bonnie Henry : 16 sea battles hard to forget Grandson Hank keeps legacy alive George the patriarch took the reins Bonnie Henry : Amos means Tucson Realty & Trust Bonnie Henry : Pioneer pool builder helped keep us afloat Memories of one of our oldest neighborhoods Bonnie Henry : Summers of old glow in memory Summer memories Bonnie Henry : Kids' book takes wing Bonnie Henry: Here's a gift guide for dads of all — well, 4 — types

Dental
Southern Arizona Endodontics
Dental Assistant General
A1 Communications
Cable Techs Health Care
Sierra Tucson
Eating Disorders Program Coordinator Trades/Construction
RANCHO RESORT
MAINTANANCE POSITION

Can't figure out the current financial collapse? Simple. Just go back to the fairy tales of your youth — all with a moral never meant to be.

● Once upon a time there were three little pigs. The first little pig saved and saved until he had enough money to build himself a sturdy home of brick.

The second little pig could save only enough money to make a down payment on a house of wood. But he financed the rest with a fixed mortgage that he knew he could afford.

The third little pig spent every dime that came across his snout. So all he could afford was a house made of straw, financed with a subprime mortgage he would never be able to pay off.

Sure enough, the big bad wolf of economic woes blew down his house — one he, alas, still owed a huge mortgage on.

And then the federal government rode to the rescue. "Never fear, little pig," said the government. "We won't let the big, bad wolf foreclose on your house. In fact, we'll see that your payments are reduced."

"What about me?" squealed the second little pig. "I still have a mortgage I'm paying on. Where's my handout?"

"Too bad," said the government. "You took out a mortgage you could afford."

"What about me?" squealed the first little pig, who owned his own home.

"You have a sturdy brick home," said the government. "You get to let your brother move in with you while his house is under repair."

● Once upon a time there was a puppet-turned-investment counselor named Pinocchio who told his clients everything was fine whenever they called to ask if their money was safe.

But Pinocchio was lying, which caused his nose to grow. Everybody pretended not to notice, however, because they were greedy and wanted to believe their money would also grow and grow and grow.

Finally, they did notice Pinocchio's nose, which caused his firm to fail. But Pinocchio wasn't worried. That's because the government rode to the rescue with a huge bailout, which Pinocchio gladly accepted.

Then he flew his corporate jet to the Bahamas for a company wingding that included a $3,000 pedicure, $2,500 massage and an undisclosed amount for filing down his nose.

● Once upon a time there were the Ant and the Grasshopper. Ant spent all summer storing up food for the winter, while Grasshopper sang and played the months away.

"You'd better start saving some food," warned Ant.

"What, me save?" replied Grasshopper. "Why, I'll just whip out these credit cards and charge, charge, charge."

All summer long Grasshopper played and played, while charging more and more. When one account reached its limits, he'd merely jump to another. Why, companies were even mailing him unsolicited cards.

But when the first cold winds began to blow, Grasshopper noticed that all his credit cards had maxed out. Meanwhile, Ant was snug and safe inside his heavily stocked nest.

"Oh me, oh my, whatever shall I do?" lamented Grasshoper. "I shall surely starve."

"Surely not," said the government, riding to the rescue. "We're going to let the banks forgive almost half of all your credit card debt."

"Oh, thank you, thank you," cried Grasshopper. "But in the meantime, where will I live during the long, cold winter?"

"Oh, we've got it all arranged," said the government. "You're going to stay with Ant. He has plenty of food saved up for both of you."

And they all lived happily ever after.

The Star is again offering a combo price of $50 on columnist Bonnie Henry's history books when purchased as a set, but only through Dec. 1.

The books are autographed "Happy Memories! Bonnie Henry" but are not personalized. The two books are "Tucson Memories," published in 2006, and "Another Tucson," published in 1992.

The first editions of "Another Tucson" have long been out of print, and the spiral-bound version is usually available online only. Individually, they will sell for $29.95 each. Regular price is $39.95 for "Tucson Memories."

Books can be purchased from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Mondays through Fridays at the Star's River Road office, 1640 E. River Road, west of North Campbell Avenue, and the Star's main plant, 4850 S. Park Ave., at East Irvington Road.

They're also available at SaddleBag Notes, 15930 N. Oracle Road, in Catalina Pointe Shopping Center in Catalina. This office has irregular hours, so call SaddleBag Notes at 818-0204 to confirm when the office is open.

Books can be mailed for a fee for postage and handling. Contact Renee Weatherless at 807-7760 or rweath@azstarnet.com to place a mail order or go online to tucson.com/store