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Laugh out loud

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A magician takes his parrot to a vet because it isn't moving. "Doc, you gotta help me. Something's wrong with my bird."

The vet looks at the bird and says, "Your bird's dead."

The magician looks at the bird and pleads with the vet: "You gotta help. He's my favorite bird."

So the vet leaves the room and returns moments later with a Labrador retriever. The dog looks at the bird, sniffs it, nudges it with his nose, then shakes its head at the doc and leaves the room. The vet brings in a cat, who does the same thing and also shakes its head.

"Now I can tell you 100 percent, your bird is dead."

The man begins to cry, and the vet hands him the bill.

"You can't be serious. $150 to tell me my bird is dead?" the magician exclaims.

"Well, if you would have listened to me it would have been only a $20 office visit. But with the lab report and cat scan, it brought it up."

— Comic magician Norm Marini, who headlines Monday's It's Magic show at the Gaslight Theatre, 7010 E. Broadway. $14 for adults, $11 kids. 886-9428.