It's emotional blackmail

* DEAR ABBY: I have a son who is 33. He has four children and lives in another state. About a year ago, he asked me to co-sign on a house loan. I refused. Now he won't speak to me. He didn't even attend his grandmother's funeral. I don't know how to bridge this gap between us except by signing the note. I really can't afford it, but I miss my son and grandchildren. - Hurting in Ohio DEAR HURTING: Under no circumstances should you give in to your son's emotional blackmail. Continue to send your grandchildren birthday and holiday greetings. * DEAR ABBY: There is a subject in my house that's causing conflict: school sports. Neither of my children is interested in playing. They do well academically. They take advanced classes and music, as well as dance and gymnastics outside of school. My husband says they'll never be accepted into college without a school sport, and if they are, they won't be eligible for a scholarship. Is this true? - Wondering About School Sports in California DEAR WONDERING: No, it's not. I posed your question to Hanan Eisenman, media coordinator of admissions at the University of California. He says eligibility for admission is based on grades from college preparatory courses and on scores on the appropriate admissions tests. By far the most important criterion for admission for virtually all colleges and universities is academic achievement. * DEAR ABBY: I have been dating my boyfriend, "David," for a year. He moved in with me four months ago. We generally get along great, even though he hasn't given me his share of the rent since his hours were cut at work. Frankly, it feels like we are more like roommates or friends than lovers, but I was sure I would never meet anyone who could compare. Last weekend I was out of town, a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding. David was unable to attend, so she matched me up with a groomsman I'll call Chad. Well, the chemistry between us was so thick you could have cut it with a knife. Chad and I can't ignore the connection we made. He has invited me to visit him. I am having serious doubts about my relationship with David. Should I give Chad a chance? - Bridesmaid in Waiting in Connecticut DEAR BRIDESMAID: Absolutely! But before your relationship with Chad goes any further, you must level with David.