Anna Faris plays Shelley, a former Playboy model, tossed from the Playboy mansion for being the ripe old age of 27, who fortuitously happens upon a sorority house full of social outcasts and becomes their house mother in "The House Bunny."

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Anna Faris is one of the funniest actresses in movies today, but you wouldn't know it from the wretched "The House Bunny."

Think "Van Wilder," only genders-reversed and not funny. Or "Legally Blonde" with a dumber, sluttier lead character and not funny.

Oh, did I mention the movie's not funny?

Faris, who carried the "Scary Movie" flicks, was so brilliant mocking the Cameron Diaz persona in "Lost in Translation," and was a fall-off-your-chair, spit-out-your-gum riot in "Just Friends," plays Shelley, a Playboy model tossed out of the house after she turns — gasp! — 27.

Homeless and without prospects, Shelley happens upon a sorority house full of social outcasts and becomes the house mother. Thus begins a parade of makeovers, dubious you-go-girl advice and more blonde jokes than you'll find scribbled on the world's collective bathroom walls.

Shelley's triumph is taking a band of unconfident, quirky misfits and turning them into a gaggle of giggling, jiggly airheads.

She's got her work cut out for her: there's a pregnant girl, one with glasses, one with a back brace, a goth chick and — get this — one from Idaho.

Luckily for Faris, the sorority girls are played by stunning beauties (including "American Idol's" Katharine McPhee, Emma Stone from "Superbad" and Rumer Willis, Bruce's daughter) who, with the wave of a makeup person's hand, can instantly transform into knockouts. Things gets better for the ladies once they start acting like Playboy bunnies. Men start hitting on them, the rival sorority house that wants to shut them down gets jealous, and the pledges start rolling in.

Ya hear that, girls? Stop being yourself and life will be, like, so perfect!

Later on there's a little backtracking, as if the screenwriters realized how demented an agenda they were pushing, and the girls decide they should act only half like Shelley. Uh-huh. Sage advice indeed.

Faris, who produced and thought of the concept for the movie, tries her darnedest to hold it all together but can't quite pull off the prissy dingbell persona. She's best when playing unhinged, crazy characters, and when she pulls out a hint of her trademark silliness — for instance, a deep, scary voice she brings back again and again at random — she runs it into the ground.

Sarah Wright, who plays Ashley, the condescending, most popular girl at school and Shelley's sworn enemy, fares better, zinging caustic one-liners and passive-aggressive smackdowns.

More Ashley and less Shelley would have made the movie more watchable. A new premise and script also would have helped.