We propose that you skip 'Bride Wars'
By Phil Villarreal
Pvillarreal@azstarnet.com
Tucson, Arizona | Published: 01.08.2009
"Bride Wars" is set in a bizarre parallel universe where a marriage proposal is the lone validation of a woman's existence.
And wedding planning instantly turns accomplished, articulate women into screaming, self-absorbed Bridezillas who will tear out their best friends' hair — or at least arrange to have it turned blue — if they dare get in the way of the perfect day.
None of director Gary Winick's comedy of manners is meant to be taken seriously, but there's no way to overlook the farce's outrageous sexism.
Every female character in the movie is shallow, petty and thoroughly obsessed with the wedding fantasy peddled by bridal magazines. The men just look dumbfounded.
Cornered like two uneasy volunteers at an open-mic improv session, Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson do their darnedest to maintain a semblance of dignity as their characters tear into each other with all the grace and tact of UFC fighters. Their personalities and energy elevate a putrid script to respectability.
Both actors are so effective at making their characters likable that the humor suffers. Since you feel for uptight lawyer Liv (Hudson), it stings when meek schoolteacher Emma (Hathaway) tricks Liv into eating so many sweets that she won't fit into her wedding dress. Likewise, when Liv swaps out Emma's video montage for embarrassing Spring Break footage, the shudders prevent any laughter.
What we're left with is a near-laughless comedy that works most effectively as a tirade about the evils of wedding one-upsmanship. The movie's best moments, in which Liv and Emma stare each other down for some rapidfire smack talk, are all in the trailer.
At the outset, Liv and Emma are best pals who giddily anticipate question-poppings from their longtime boyfriends.
When the proposals arrive almost simultaneously, the women start planning their weddings, which end up falling at the same time and place.
Since the friends plan on inviting many of the same people, and each refuses to budge or come to the natural compromise of a double wedding, a game of chicken is at hand.
Candice Bergen is wasted as wedding planner extraordinaire Marion St. Claire.
Working for both brides, Marion also serves as the narrator to over-explain the obvious in moribund voiceover.
A character who could serve as the voice of reason or at least an authoritative referee, St. Claire is nothing more than a placeholder. Bergen seems understandably bored in the role.
The grooms-to-be, played by Chris Pratt and Steve Howey, have so few lines that they are little more than extras. They are nonentities kept around only for reaction shots and dumbfounded grimaces.
There's rarely a sense that either women is in love with anything other than her idea of a perfect wedding.
Bryan Greenberg, as Liv's magazine journalist brother, Nate, is the male character with the most to do and say — which isn't much. He sticks around as fodder for a predictable third-act twist.
A movie at war with itself, "Bride Wars" is as romantic as the dollar dance and as funny as the quips from a hokey wedding DJ.
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