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Carolyn Hax

● Dear Carolyn:

My sister got married last year, and she and her husband were blessed with a baby this year. At Christmas he will be the center of attention, and delightfully so. She has already started hinting about what "the baby wants."

Now, I think this is ridiculous, as my beautiful nephew is only 6 months old and all of "his" wants are yet to be formed. I plan on spoiling the kid rotten, but can't help but feel a little resentful about being handed yet another registry list from my sister. I mean, seriously, after the engagement gift, wedding shower, bachelorette party, bridal party expenses, baby shower, etc. . . . I thought we were finally going to be able to get our own gifts for my nephew.

Am I wrong or resentful or both?

— Va.

Would you please talk to her? All the hinting and cutesy speaking for a 6-month-old and the thinly veiled shakedowns are making me resentful of your sister.

Baby-centric demands like this create monsters everywhere: in the parents, who develop a sense of entitlement to the spotlight; in the children, who do likewise; and in the family members who resent but don't confront, and try to push their own agendas through subversive means such as buying the gifts they want to buy.

You used the words "blessed" and "delightfully"; I'm guessing you can remain in character while explaining that you take great joy in finding your own gifts. List your ideas for her, say, so she can OK or veto from there.

● Dear Carolyn:

A humorous question asked in sincerity — I recently started dating a man with the same name as mine. It's one of those names that could go both ways, like Jesse/Jessie. People generally think it's funny, and there's also a presumption it will never work.

We're starting to get more serious. Should I put up with this for the rest of my life? Should one of us adopt a new nickname? My real question is, since people are really starting to annoy me, how can I deflect what will obviously be a joke that will never die?

— Ditto, Ditto

As someone who just witnessed a tall person being asked if he ever played basketball, I think I can assure you with fresh confidence that your best chance is to accept this joke will never die. Make sure Jesse is worth it, and always have the following handy: "Funny, we've never heard that before."