Other articles by Carolyn Hax:

She's perfect, so to speak — but she doesn't Readers speak up on marriage commitment, relationships Wife who sent thousand-plus texts to her ex needs to explain Tell me about it : Admit to fiancee you're not ready Finding a problem with 'women in general' points to your own issues Looking for objective? Imagine him not as a person but as a place With the right attitude, you can find someone Suspicions about wife, 2-year-old child torment husband Tell me about it Tell me about it : 'Soul mate' should support partner, not her mom

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Carolyn: I am wondering if my boyfriend has an anger issue. Occasionally when he plays video games he throws the controller and screams at the TV. He said he realizes it is childish, but video games are how he lets off steam and it is the only time he gets that worked up.

It hasn't seemed to affect our relationship or relationships with his friends or family. When we fight it never escalates to screaming and he has never hit me. I am just wondering if his anger could really be limited to video games. — New York

I'm going to have to duck to avoid some airborne game controllers, but I think someone who behaves that way even in the limited context of gaming is wound a turn or three too tightly.

So, yes, anger issue, though apparently not a huge one. But even then, his showing that kind of anger means he has that kind of anger. And while he may never lose his cool in traffic, say, or around kids who are being obnoxious, wouldn't that also suggest he can stop himself from screaming and throwing things?

Re: Anger: It seems to me the majority of people I know can get really angry at times — yelling, screaming, throwing things. … I would much rather have a boyfriend who lets that anger out by throwing a game control than yelling at me. Am I just naive? — Anonymous

If those are the choices, then I'm going with flying controllers, too. But while I'll agree that temper flares are a fact of most lives, I'm hard-pressed to think of any more than one or two people I've known well who resorted to throwing things.

It is not everyday behavior, and not OK.

Re: Anger: I used to get very frustrated with inanimate objects, and throw or thump them. I think I learned it partly from my parents, who, while gentle with others, could also get violently angry with things.

My husband would react gently, but let me see his discomfort. His reaction to my reaction let me know this really wasn't OK. Taking out my frustrations on material objects didn't make my outbursts any less childish or my violence any more appropriate. — Connecticut