Related articles:

Dear Abby : Let daughter fight the battle Dear Abby : Seek aid of a professional Dear Abby : You can overcome shyness Dear Abby : Marriage has gone to the dogs

Other articles by Jeanne Phillips:

Dear Abby Dear Abby Dear Abby Dear Abby Dear Abby Dear Abby Dear Abby Dear Abby Dear Abby Dear Abby

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DEAR ABBY: I have been in a long-distance relationship with my girlfriend, "Elli," for two years. We haven't seen each other for almost six months, and now she has decided she wants time apart.

Our relationship was suffering during my last year of graduate school because I wasn't able to give Elli the time she deserved. Now I have graduated and have a job that gives me more time to dedicate to her.

She decided when I relocated that she would not move to the city with me. She says she wants to keep me in her life, but she "needs space" to find herself. We schedule chats on the phone and try to avoid discussing the status of our relationship, but we usually end up arguing and crying.

I suggested visiting her now that I can afford to, so we can talk through our differences in person, but Elli says it would be too much for her to bear. Is there more going on here than meets the eye? — Out in the Cold in D.C.

DEAR OUT IN THE COLD: Yes, there probably is. She may love you, but the question is, is she still IN love with you? The next time you chat, ask her that.

Please realize that when someone says seeing you would be too much to bear, it sends a strong message — regardless of whether or not it's the one you want to hear.

DEAR ABBY: I am writing about a change I have seen in church. I accept the loud guitar music and informal settings, although I do miss the traditional hymns and formal altars.

What I cannot get used to is the forced "friendly" greeting and handshaking. I attend church to meditate and worship with my family. I do not go to shake hands with strangers and give them a greeting dictated by a pastor.

I like people. I am naturally caring, outgoing and friendly. However, I believe that a greeting or handshake should come from my own heart. What do you think, Abby? — Minister's Daughter, Cayucos, Calif.

DEAR DAUGHTER: Thank you for asking my opinion. Here it is: Something is wrong in our fragmented society if, for one moment in a house of God, people cannot find it in their hearts to reach out and make sure that everyone feels included and welcome.