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DRIVERS

DEAR ABBY: My cousin's 9-year-old son, "Andy," has been living with me for the past few years. Now my husband has been diagnosed with cancer, and I must return Andy to his mother.

Abby, his mother is an alcoholic and drug addict. She has no income, and the list goes on. How do I return that boy to this type of environment? My immediate and extended families insist he go home to his mother, but I am worried about his future. What do I do? I need to concentrate and focus on my husband's health, but who will give Andy the care that he needs? — Worried Aunt in Colorado

DEAR WORRIED AUNT: There is an alternative to returning Andy to that unhealthy environment, but it will require cooperation from your immediate and extended families. Keep the child with you, but have him stay with the relatives at the times your husband is getting his treatments. If they are unwilling, perhaps the parents of some of Andy's friends would be willing to help out. Please give it a try and let me know what happens, because the best place for Andy is with responsible people who know and love him.

DEAR ABBY: I am in my early 40s. Most of my good friends, whom I have known my whole life, have not given a second thought to our approaching "golden years." No one is saving money for retirement, participating in any sort of plan or even thinking about how they will manage later in life.

They all have fun, interesting, low-paying jobs. This mindset may have been fine 20 years ago, but we aren't kids anymore. I worry that when my friends are senior citizens they will be destitute. They laugh off my worries.

My parents are enjoying a modest but comfortable retirement that they worked for — and planned for — most of their lives. I want the same for myself and my friends. How can I inspire them to take action? — Tom in Long Beach, Calif.

DEAR TOM: Talking to people who choose to live for today while ignoring the importance of preparing for tomorrow won't work. A better approach would be to teach them by example, then cross your fingers and hope they catch on.