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Dear AbbyUniversal Press Syndicate
Tucson, Arizona | Published: 09.08.2007
● DEAR ABBY: While I was visiting, my best friend's live-in companion stole some money out of my purse. I told my friend, and she confronted him in my presence. He denied it.
My friend and I have spoken on the phone since. She said she knows by the way he is acting that he probably did it, but she doesn't want to bring it up to him.
She has requested that I find a way to forgive him and resume visiting them. When a child is caught stealing, the child owns up to it and is made to apologize. Am I wrong? — Appalled in Clinton, Mich.
DEAR APPALLED: You are correct as far as children are concerned. But this man is not a child, and your friend is not his mother, so don't hold your breath waiting for an apology. They have an unhealthy relationship. I recommend that from now on, you see your friend apart from her companion. However, if you decide to relent, lock your purse in the trunk of your car before entering their home.
● DEAR ABBY: I've been dating "Mike" for three years. We have just become engaged. The problem? Every so often, Mike's mother invites him to dinner — and when she does, she excludes my two children and me. I know this may seem petty, but it hurts my feelings.
Mike has a married sister with children, and she's never invited without her family. This is hurtful for two reasons: (1) I am from a different part of the country, and my family is more than 1,000 miles away. (2) My mother recently passed away.
I have discussed how alone I feel without my family with Mike and his mother on several occasions. Am I off my rocker? I don't want to seem petty.— Excluded in Pennsylvania
DEAR EXCLUDED: I don't think you're being petty, but I do think you're being overly clingy. For a mother to invite her son to dinner alone is not a rejection of you. She may have things she wants to discuss with him privately. After you and Mike are married, that may — or may not — change.
I don't know what kind of relationship you have with Mike's mother, but if she hasn't taken you into her heart after three years, it may be time to accept the fact that she is incapable of being the mother figure you would like her to be. Therefore, I encourage you to look elsewhere for that kind of female-bonding relationship.
● Write to Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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