Ex-abusers tell parents how to cope with addicted children

Photos by James S. Wood, The Arizona Daily Star John Leggio, executive director of The Mark, conducts forum on drug abuse. Panel members Billy Mathis, left, and Aleah Brock at forum.

A year ago, they were all using.

Tonight, they sit on a panel discussion, telling parents how to cope with a child on drugs.

``Your daughter has to want to help herself,'' Aleah Brock, a former cocaine addict, tells one worried mother out in the audience.

Brock, 16, and the other four kids on the panel, ages 15 to 17, are undergoing counseling at The Mark, Youth and Family Care Campus, which offers an intensive outpatient substance-abuse program.

Two of the three boys on the panel are at The Mark because they were ordered there by the Pima County Juvenile Court.

Like Brock, Sherri Samuels, who is the only other girl on the panel, goes to The Mark ``cause my mom wanted me to come.''

Marijuana, cocaine, methamphetamines, heroin, LSD - these kids did them all.

Rarely did they pay for their habits. For drugs, they say, are everywhere - at parties, on your friends, sometimes even offered by family members.

``The only drug I ever paid for was cigarettes,'' says Vincente Reyes, 17.

Clean for the past eight months, Reyes now carries the guilt of what he did to his family. ``I gave them all kinds of grief. My mom had a nervous breakdown.''

For everyone who sits on tonight's panel, it was a struggle to break the addiction.

``With crystal meth, little by little it takes over your life,'' says Reyes.

``With cocaine, you've got to do more and more to keep the same high,'' says Brock.

Some still bear physical remnants of the drugs they once took.

``I still see perma-trails (flashbacks) sometimes,'' says Samuels, who used a whole pharmacopeia of drugs, including acid.

Tired of living on the streets and afraid of losing someone ``who didn't want to be the boyfriend of a crackhead,'' Samuels finally sought help.

What she saw in the mirror also helped scare her straight. ``I lost a lot of weight. My skin broke out. I looked horrible.''

Today, both she and her mom are undergoing counseling at The Mark.

And though their relationship is still strained, Samuels says, ``I know now it's not my mom's fault. I take ownership for every stupid thing I did.''

Clean again

The first to speak is tall, blond, good-looking. Just your average All-American boy.

He's also an ex-junkie and dealer.

``I was dealing, so I was using, too,'' says Joe, 19. ``Alcohol, pot, crystal meth, cocaine, heroin. If it was there, I would do it.''

He's been clean more than a year now, thanks to a 30-day stint at La Caņada, a substance-abuse group home nestled into a northside neighborhood.

``The toughest part was getting to know myself,'' says Joe. ``I got into issues pretty deep inside of me.''

Early on in his freshman year of high school, drugs started going into his body.

``Me and my buddies started experimenting with pot. I got high. It was cool. I liked it.''

Before long, it had become a daily habit - one he needed to feed. Selling weed became the easiest way to come up with a quick $50. ``There was a lot of it at school.''

Tougher to come by, he says, were the harder drugs. ``You had to ask around.'' Still, he says, ``Meth was being used all over.''

At the beginning of his sophomore year, he was busted by the cops, who found beer in his car.

``Then I got busted at school for possession of coke, weed, beer, paraphernalia and a concealed weapon.''

He was suspended for two weeks, then went on district probation.

More scrapes with the law followed, including a couple of arrests for beating up people.

He did six weeks in juvenile detention, then more time under intensive juvenile probation. ``A surveillance officer came by every day.''

In August of '96, he entered La Caņada's program. ``My group was the worst,'' he says. ``For two weeks, everyone was running wild.''

Then his counselor sat him down. ``He told me to either get my stuff together and finish or go home. I thought, `What the hell, I can last two weeks.' ''

Four months of outpatient counseling would follow.

Next came jail.

For though he had cleaned up his juvenile court record, several charges had been transferred to adult court.

A little more than a year ago, Joe started serving a six-month sentence in the county jail. He was released last September.

Today, he's still on intensive probation, still undergoes random drug testing.

``I don't miss the drugs,'' he says. ``The alcohol is harder because it's all around. But I know I can't have it again. I'm a raging alcoholic.''

Set to graduate this spring from an alternative high school program, Joe has a job - and a future. ``I've got a scholarship to Pima (Community College.)''

He wants, he says, to be a counselor. ``I'd like to be a counselor at a place like this.''

``Give it a chance''

``Then in the past week, something clicked. I decided to be positive, give it a chance,'' says Alison, 15, then in her second week of treatment at La Caņada.

She started smoking pot when she was 14. ``It was at a party. It was my choice; I asked for it.''

Soon it became a daily habit.

Within two months, she was a runaway. ``I got arrested. I went back home. But because it was my first arrest, I wasn't in any trouble.''

The drug use turned harder.

``Crystal meth, cocaine, mushrooms,'' says Alison, ticking off the list.

The worst, she says, was the meth.

``My girlfriend and I would use it in the stalls at the school bathroom. We'd be wired all day. Our teachers just thought we were hyper.''

Last fall, her parents kicked her out of the house.

She ran away with a boyfriend. The two wound up in Benson.

``Drug use was heavy there,'' says Alison. ``You'd go to somebody's house and there would be lines out on the table. The parents would be using pot and meth with the kids.''

After her parents found notes in their home indicating Alison's drug use, they called the police and reported her as a runaway. ``They were worried.''

In January, she came to La Caņada. ``I was mad. I was always running away from my problems. But you can't run away here.''

Though she was using weed and speed as late as January, a few weeks later Alison says she has no cravings.

She's also looking forward to a weekend visit with her parents. ``You have to earn those visitations,'' she says.

When she's done with the program, Alison plans on moving back in with her parents, and attending an alternative high school.

``No, I won't miss my old friends,'' she says. ``They're still out there doing drugs. I don't need my friends. I need my family.''

``Yes, I was scared''

A year later, he was selling pot to support a daily habit. ``Mostly I sold around the neighborhood,'' he says.

He was still in middle school the first time he was busted for possession. ``I was taken to juvie (juvenile court). Yes, I was scared,'' says Michael, who spent a day there.

``My mom picked me up. She yelled at me all the way home.''

He went on probation at school. But he couldn't stop using. More arrests would follow, more trips to juvenile detention.

He was ordered into counseling, then stopped going - a probation violation. ``Then they said I dropped dirty (failed a drug test).''

In January, he was sent to La Caņada. ``I was pissed,'' says Michael. ``These guys don't know me.''

He considered running away. ``But the thought of going back to juvie stopped me.''

Instead, he gave the program another chance.

``I got to know the counselors and my peers. We also had some family sessions that came out pretty good. I see myself opening up. Even my mom says she sees the difference in me.''

Almost through with his 30-day stay, Michael is going back to his old high school - and his old friends.

``I know they'll try to talk me into doing drugs, but I'll make better choices,'' he says. ``I've put in a lot of time here. I don't want to waste it.''

Asked what he would tell other teens, Michael says: ``Don't do it. Don't get drawn into it. Yeah, you might have fun at first, but there are always consequences.

``Every time I was in juvie, it hurt me to think how my mom was feeling. I ain't ever going back to that place. Ever.''