By Alisa Blackwood
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Frank Loulan has done everything he can think of to validate his same-sex relationship in the ways most married couples take for granted. He's "come out" to his family, employer, neighbors and church.

Earlier this year, Loulan and his partner of more than 10 years, Richard Pearce-Moses, traveled to Vermont for a quiet civil union ceremony at a bed and breakfast. In Phoenix, they threw a bigger bash: a reception with dinner and drinks for 100 or so friends and family members after a "relationship blessing" at their Lutheran church.

And last year, the couple also came out to the U.S. government. Their household was one of 12,332 same-sex-partner households counted in Arizona, according to 2000 data.

"I think it's important to come out at all levels," Loulan said. "That's the thing that's going to change society, being open about who you are and not making excuses about who you are."

Census figures show there were at least 15 same-sex-partner households in each of Arizona's 15 counties. Gay rights activists say the numbers are indicative of a need for lawmakers to pay more attention to the needs of same-sex couples.

"The real impact here is at the local family level," said Paula Ettelbrick, family policy director of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force in Washington, D.C. "The fact that in Arizona there are same-sex couples in every county says politicians can't assume there aren't gay people in their district. They're going to have to represent them just like they do every one else."

The census indicated that same-sex-partner households composed less than 1 percent of the total number of Arizona households in 2000 and 10.4 percent of unmarried-partner households. The number is fairly insignificant, said Ken Karouzos, a lobbyist for the Center for Arizona Policy, a conservative advocacy group. "Homosexuality is kind of its own animal, but, in a nutshell, our bigger concern is the overall cohabitating trend," he said.

But to some, the census figures reflect the changing face of the American family, said Dilia Loe, executive director of the Arizona Human Rights Fund.

"I think perhaps it's becoming clearer how extended families and blended families exist in our culture," Loe said. "We should be more supportive of families that don't fit your Ozzie and Harriet stereotype."

No one knows for sure how accurate the count of same-sex-partner households is because some gays and lesbians are afraid of negative consequences personally or professionally if they are open about their relationships, said Mark Suever, a Phoenix man who has lived with his male partner since 1986. "Gay people are more closeted in Arizona and they're afraid of coming out," he said.

Suever and his partner said they're always open about their relationship on government forms but understand why others are reluctant.

"It's difficult to gauge if you're going to be a victim of discrimination," added Loe of the Arizona Human Rights Fund. "There are tangible fears of violence, losing one's job or losing one's children."

Still, Arizona has made strides for gay rights in the last decade, she said. Tucson, Tempe, Phoenix and Scottsdale now offer health benefits to same-sex domestic partners, as do several large corporations such as Marriott, Mayo Clinic and America West Airlines.

Gov. Jane Hull signed a bill in May that repealed laws written in the early 1900s that banned unmarried couples living together, sodomy and sex that is not intended to conceive children.

Arizona also has elected more openly gay people to high public office than almost any other state. There are 31 states that don't have any openly homosexual representative in the Legislature, while Arizona has two: Reps. Ken Cheuvront, a Phoenix Democrat, and Steve May, a Mesa Republican.

Loulan, a Phoenix native, has seen how the political and social climate has shifted in Arizona but said it can still be painful when his relationship is not accepted. One of his sisters refuses contact with him, and his employer of 30 years won't extend domestic-partner health benefits to Pearce-Moses.

"The reason why my partner and I want to tell people who we are is because that's what's going to change things, at our places of employment and with people who know us."