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Tender moments

Amy Blackburn knows there will be lots of times when parents will feel almost unbearable love for their children. The first day of school. The first driving lesson. Prom night. But there's something about infants, in all of their snuggling vulnerability, that speaks to her. "It just seems like those are the most tender moments they will share together," said Blackburn, a 38-year-old emergency room nurse. When she started taking photos seven years ago, she practiced on her pregnant friends and then just kept at it. Her natural, relationship-driven photographs of bulging tummies or parents with babies (see photos with this story) make for a style that's something like Richard-Avedon-meets-Anne-Geddes. And since she wants mom and baby to be less harried and more comfortable, she makes house calls. A two-hour photography session starts at $300. For more information, check out www.amyblackburn photography.com or call 991-5736. Too bad babies don't come with instruction manuals. It's hard enough trying to figure out how to clip those itty-bitty nails, get through all-night squalling jags and make sure you have enough Baby Einstein CDs. So we rustled up a few resources that might make things easier once you find out baby's on the way. Pregnancy myths examined

The 30-second pregnancy tutorial: Dr. Maryam Beheshti, a board-certified obstetrician and gynecologist at Ironwood OB/GYN, weighs in on whether these pregnancy myths hold true: 1. Do you have to give up caffeine? Although research suggests that high amounts of caffeine may be linked to a higher risk of low birthweight and miscarriage, Beheshti said moderate use, about two cups a day, is OK. That means you may not have to give up your morning coffee, but it's not a bad idea to forgo the Thirstbusters. 2. Do you have to give up exercise? "Almost everybody can do moderate exercise," she said. But after 16-20 weeks, Beheshti said, pregnant women should not exercise flat on their back, because the uterus could put pressure on blood vessels and restrict blood flow to the heart. 3. Do you have to give up the hair coloring? "There isn't much research on this, but the amount of chemical absorbed and excreted is minimal, so you don't have to stop coloring your hair," she said. Early on in a pregnancy, however, the skin might be more sensitive. 4. Do you have to give up sex? "I think most people can continue," Beheshti said. Sex can cause bleeding from the cervix. And semen contains substances that can trigger contractions. But except for women with high-risk pregnancies, it's probably safe. But refer back to question No. 2. Same holds true here. 5. Do you have to give up sushi? 'Fraid so, because raw fish can carry parasites. Skip the raw meat and unpasteurized cheese, like feta. Otherwise, she said, pregnant women can continue eating a wide range of food. New Parents Network

When Karen Storek was pregnant with her first son in 1986, she pored through every book and resource she could find. "I was just so overwhelmed. I wanted to read about what was happening to my body and what it meant to be a parent," recalled Storek, now 46. She was struck at how haphazard getting information was. She found a pamphlet on drowning prevention in her pediatrician's office. She found information on a product recall at the toy store. "I thought, 'What if the office runs out of brochures, or what if I wasn't shopping on that day?" So Storek began the New Parents Network by creating one-stop-shop packets on topics like poison control, nutrition and abuse prevention to give new parents leaving the hospital. By 1994, the nonprofit branched out into cyberspace. A few years ago, University of Arizona business students took it on as a project. The updated site, launched in early July, now has information in English and Spanish and provides national and Pima County-specific information. Storek's network has strict guidelines on what it disseminates, accepting information from government agencies and nonprofits without a religious or political bent. Her site gets about 300,000 visitors a month, she said. "I love what I do. If I hadn't loved it and if I hadn't seen that it was helping people, I wouldn't have stuck with it." To check it out, go to www.newparentsnetwork.com online. La Leche League

Andrea Shelor knew she wanted to nurse when she gave birth to William in mid-May. Her doctor encouraged her, her family encouraged her and "I just knew it was better for the baby." But when it came down to practice, the 32-year-old stay-at-home mom found it was more difficult than she anticipated. "I wasn't sure exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I didn't know if he was latching on right and if he was getting enough." Her mother-in-law suggested she head to a La Leche League of Tucson meeting. Four days after William was born, she went. The other women made sure William was swallowing, and Shelor was relieved that she'd been doing it right all along. She checked back once more, calling a coordinator one night to see how often she should nurse. The answer: Whenever he fussed, try. She hopes to nurse until he's at least 6 months old. When Phyllis Maloney started nursing in 1972, she didn't have much company. "You might have had six heads - that's how unusual it was to be a breast-feeding mother. Never mind that breast-feeding has sustained humanity since the beginning of time," said Maloney, 55, who nursed four children and now coordinates La Leche's Continental Reserve chapter. By 2010, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services wants 75 percent of mothers to leave the hospital nursing, with half of them still doing it six months later - that's up from 29 percent at six months in 1998, the latest statistics available. But first, advocates still must win over some hearts and souls. Barbara Walters' recent comments that she felt uncomfortable sitting next to a nursing mother on a plane inspired protests by "lactivists" all over the country, including Tucson. The fuss wasn't new to Maloney, who remembers being asked to leave a zoo in New York when she settled down to nurse. She refused. "The llamas were nursing, and they didn't seem to be bothering anyone." Stay-at-home dad

When Samuel and Alison DeVore had children, they knew they wanted someone to stay home, to bring the kids to tumbling classes and witness all of the "firsts" that come with babies. And since Alison was an engineer and Samuel was a middle-school teacher, Samuel was the lucky one, retiring five years ago to raise Abby, 7, and Katie, 5. It wasn't always easy, though. "Being a stay-at-home dad can be lonely," said Samuel DeVore, 36. "Everywhere you go and everything you do with kids, it's always you and all the moms. You almost feel like an outsider a lot of times." He's gotten used to not-so-veiled inquiries about what his real job is, and he now has two other male friends who have opted to stay home. "But it would have been great to have a bunch of dads to hang out with, even for just basic questions, like, 'What do you do as a dad and you're at the mall and you just can't picture bringing your daughters into the mens' room?'" That wish may come to fruition. Tucson Moms, www.tucsonmoms.com, is trying to get a group together for the dads. Those interested are asked to send e-mail inquiries to info@tucsonmoms.com. DeVore may just check it out himself. His third baby is arriving in September.