Other articles by Dale Dauten:

The Corporate Curmudgeon: 'Law of attraction' just a distractionThe Corporate Curmudgeon: Pressure plays a major role in leading people to greatnessThe Corporate Curmudgeon: Been there, done that won't cut itCorporate Curmudgeon: Bad times could offer best time to take chancesCorporate Curmudgeon: Excellent boss helps underling excel in job The Corporate Curmudgeon : For boomers, bromides may be best medicine Corporate Curmudgeon: Forgive the cliché, but 'Make yourself useful'Corporate Curmudgeon: Top leaders get creative at crunch timeThe Corporate Curmudgeon: Leadership can utilize recession as an assetThe Corporate Curmudgeon: Piglet's profundity: Forget about fright

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That autobiographical story comes from Dan Coughlin, who went on to become an executive coach, and has written the intriguing and helpful book "Accelerate," where after telling his own story, he tells tales of management success and failure, and draws useful conclusions.

Coughlin, for instance, describes three regional VPs, all with the same corporation, each one quite successful but each quite different — not just diverse in appearance, but in style and talents. Wouldn't success within a given industry/company have a set of matching skills? No. We learn that one of the three achievers was distinguished by being charismatic, one by being process-oriented, and one by his empathy and listening skills. Coughlin concludes this: "So what was it? I kept driving myself to find some commonality between these three people. And then one day it hit me. What made these people successful was their ability to use what they were good at and passionate about in a way that drove better sustainable business results for their organization."

So why was it that Coughlin's own unique talents — his youth and energy — failed him as a head coach? Coughlin concludes that experience, knowledge and wisdom really do matter. In the age of instant success, we fall for the mythology that zeal (which usually means naked ambition with a spray-on tan) is sufficient. As a young soccer coach, Coughlin's energy and enthusiasm were important but not unique, so they weren't a competitive advantage. He couldn't offer his team anything extra, unlike more knowledgeable coaches. If only he hadn't been so lucky so young.

So now Coughlin coaches business people, which probably pays better than coaching soccer and surely has better job security, working in a league where the season never ends.

As a coach, Coughlin hears what employees say behind the bad boss's back and notes, "Don't expect anybody to tell you what an idiot you're being." Good point — if jerks were able to make quiet course corrections, they wouldn't be jerks. Coughlin himself, however, is quite willing to tell his clients what idiots they're being, quoting himself as telling one who asks him why she can't sell her ideas to management, "My guess is that nobody likes you, nobody trusts you, and absolutely nobody wants you to succeed."

That notion of liking, trusting and wanting a manager to succeed got me thinking, eventually leading to an exercise I recommend to you. I made a list of all the bosses I'd worked for or alongside through the years, then picked the best and worst, and searched for what distinguished the two sets. Sure enough, the best ones had talent and knowledge — but, wait a minute, so did the worst ones. So, looking at those bad bosses, they all had flaws . . . but then again, being honest, so did the good ones.

The difference is that the good bosses cared about the right stuff, which is to say they cared about the work. And like the old notion that you can tell the true artisans by how they care for their tools, these managers cared for the people who did the work.

Meanwhile, the bad bosses on my list were faking it. They were quite bright and capable, but they belittled customers behind their backs, and undermined and manipulated their employees. The good bosses were allies of the true professionals, the bad ones their enemies.

As for those flaws, one of my GOOD bosses was annoying in his perfectionism, one had a nasty temper and one could be lazy. Still, we employees forgave them because we wanted them to succeed. We knew they knew what they were doing, and trusted that they wanted us, our team and our customers to succeed. Each had wisdom and talents and shared them, and each had a heart and wasn't afraid to use it.