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Dear Abby: Examining single parenting

By Jeanne Phillips
Universal Press Syndicate
Tucson, Arizona | Published: 08.21.2007
● DEAR ABBY: This letter is regarding "Second-Guessing Myself in New York" (June 9), the young single woman who wants to have a baby by artificial insemination and thinks her dad will be a great role model. My sister had the same idea.
Shortly thereafter, I had my first child. My beautiful daughter was born with multiple birth defects and required many surgeries and hospitalizations. Thank God, I was married, and my husband was very supportive. I had to quit my job and stay home to care for our daughter.
Our family had no history of birth defects, and my pregnancy was perfect. No one had any idea that my daughter would have problems. It was a big wake-up call for my sister. It made her realize that, as a single parent, she would have been unable to take time away from her job to care for a child with intensive (and expensive) needs.
Readers who are considering the prospect of becoming single parents by choice should remember that sometimes not everything goes as planned. — Mother who has been there in New Jersey
DEAR MOTHER: Thank you for adding your personal perspective to this issue. The responses I received about the letter from "Second-Guessing" were balanced and thoughtful. Read on:
● DEAR ABBY: At 28, with no potential husband in sight, I was worried that I would never get to have a baby. Just before I turned 30, I met my husband. At 31, we were married, and a year later I had my first child. We have been happily married for eight years with two wonderful little boys. I cannot imagine doing it on my own. I have a loving spouse with whom to share all of this joy.
My advice: Hang in there and work hard to find the right partner. It is worth the wait! — Patient One in California
● DEAR ABBY: I am the only child of the most loving, generous, hardworking, inspiring single mother in the world. She always wanted to have a child, got pregnant at 30, and made the decision to raise me by herself. My mom and I are a complete family, and I wouldn't trade my relationship with her for anything. — Daughter of a Single Mom in Seattle
● DEAR ABBY: Has "Second-Guessing" thought about adopting or fostering a needy child? There are countless thousands of children in this country who need a stable family. — Bothered in San Francisco
● Write to Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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