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● DEAR ABBY: Last night on a popular television reality show, the host repeatedly addressed a participant in his 70s as "young man." I have seen it often — young man, young lady, sweetie, dear, etc.

In my opinion, this borders on disrespect, regardless of the good intentions behind it. My parents actually stopped shopping at a local grocery store because the staff was always calling them "young people." They were embarrassed, and I don't blame them.

I know people are trying to be nice, but can't they extend kindness without being patronizing? — Jenny in Pasco, Wash.

DEAR JENNY: Many people feel exactly as your parents do. The way to counter this is to speak up when it happens.

● DEAR ABBY: I am 11, and there is a boy I like. He knows I like him, and for Valentine's Day he gave me a necklace and earring set. My friends and my mother think that we are boyfriend and girlfriend. But I don't know for sure. I think the boy should ask the girl to be his girlfriend before they are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. Am I right or wrong? — Perplexed in Mesquite, Texas

DEAR PERPLEXED: Sometimes boys are too shy to make a formal request. However, when a boy gives a girl a gift on Valentine's Day, you can be sure it means he has special feelings for her.

● DEAR ABBY: I am due to have my third baby delivered by the same doctor who delivered my first two children.

I know some women who, after the birth of their child, have sent flowers to the doctor's office as a thank-you. I also know some women who have given the flowers they received in the hospital as gifts to the nurses' station and delivering doctor.

Is it customary to send a thank-you to an obstetrician, who is paid handsomely? Also, is passing along flowers received in the hospital traditional, or is it cheap and tacky? — Expecting in Lyons, Colo.

DEAR EXPECTING: Many patients leave flowers for the hospital staff after they are discharged. You are under no obligation to send flowers to your doctor after the delivery. However, it would be gracious to write your doctor a note of appreciation for his care. Money is no substitute in conveying that message.