Related articles:

Dear Abby: Mom may be 'losing it'Dear Abby: No need to share wig info

Other articles by Jeanne Phillips:

Dear Abby : Seek aid of a professional Dear Abby : Washing hands is important Dear Abby : Take threats of suicide seriously Dear Abby : Let daughter fight the battle Dear Abby : You can 'adopt' grandkids Dear Abby : Shop for lingerie together Dear Abby : Parents can have blind spots Dear Abby : Talk to pal about Naked party Dear Abby : There is good in everyone Dear Abby : Pay attention to his patterns

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● DEAR ABBY: "Overwhelmed in Arizona" wrote that she is helping her dad care for her dying mother, and she feels isolated and overwhelmed. You recommended a support group.

Please invite her to explore hospice. Hospice lovingly accompanies patients, together with their families, during their final stages of a terminal illness. While attending to the pain-management needs of the patient, hospice nurtures both patient and family through this difficult time.

By turning to hospice, "Overwhelmed" can shortly turn into "Loved and Nurtured in Arizona." — Viola in Severna Park, Md.

DEAR VIOLA: Thank you for reminding me about hospice. Hospice is a service for patients who have been told by two physicians that they have six months or less to live. It is paid for by Medicare, most of the time at no cost to the patient, and non-Medicare patients can receive care through private insurance. People without insurance usually receive services free or at a reduced rate. It's listed in the phone book under "hospice" or "palliative care," or go to www.hospicenet.org, www. hospicefoundation.org or www.caringinfo.org online.

Read on:

● DEAR ABBY: After reading the letter from the girl who said that she and her father were unable to talk about the mother dying of cancer, I had to write.

Imagine how isolated that poor mother must feel! I have survived two rounds of cancer.

I can tell you from firsthand experience that the mother needs to hear that it's all right for her to die, and that her daughter and husband love her but will carry on and be fine.

She needs to talk about the good times they have shared.

Dying is lonely, cold and final. Dying people often feel that they have let their families down and that the families are terribly inconvenienced. — Shirley in British Columbia

DEAR SHIRLEY: I often hear from people who say they don't know how to act or what to say when someone is stricken with terminal illness.

A young woman who is battling cancer put the answer succinctly in a letter to me: "I may have cancer, but I'm still the same person. I want my friends to talk to me like they always have, and about the same things."